"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26
Some days I just want to freeze time. You guys know what kind of days I'm talking about. Where you just decide "I'm doing nothing productive today except blowing bubbles with my 3 year old and playing with her". Some people may have these days often enough, but the truth is that this doesn't get to happen very often around my house. There's always dinners to make, clothes to clean, homework to do, and about a million other things that occupy the time with a 5 person household. And my three year old knows just how to lay on the guilt trip that makes you want to drop everything and comply with her demand of the minute. So that's just what we did last week. It was just a "Mommy & Addy Day". I cherish those days, definately more than some, but still not as much as others who would give anything to have one more of these moments with those they've lost.
Today a helicopter went down that was carrying members of the LeBonheur Pedi-flite transport team. All three on board were killed. The respiratory therapist, Denise Adams, was a close former coworker who always managed to light up a room with her smile, make your day a little brighter with her kind words, and make you feel like you could sit down and share your darkest secrets with her over a cup of tea. She had three beautiful children who didn't get to say goodbye to their mother, yet they know how much she loved them.
This tragedy hit so close to home. Heath and I have both contemplated over the last several years job opportunities that have arisen for flight nursing. It's a dangerous job that all who embark on are aware of the risks. God led us down a different path, but it could have very well been one of us. Why He chooses to take some so early, while others live long wicked lives is difficult to understand. I take comfort in knowing that Denise knew right where she would go, and she watches over all of her friends and loved ones tonight and knows how much she was loved. I pray for her family most of all. Because even with the understanding of the greatest eternity, it doesn't ease the pain of today or tomorrow. I pray that their faith guides them through the grief, helping them through each moment of pain they will endure with this loss.
It reminds me that for all of the moments in my life that I worry about Addy's future or losing her, in an instant I too could be gone. I want my children to remember the wonderful and fun times we had, not just the times when I was tired or too busy "doing mommy" to get to enjoy "being mommy". None of our tomorrows are guaranteed, so although we worry about our chronically ill child, I rejoice as well. I hug her a little tighter and a little longer, and take as many kisses as she will give. I count to 10 (10 times over) and try not to get frustrated when she is trying to help and makes a bigger mess, because "I'm big" and "I can do it, mommy" are precious words to my ears. I smile at her insistence of wearing her pink cowboy boots everywhere with every outfit, and think of myself at that age instead of trying to convince her to change her mind. I say, it's ok, you can have a moon pie before dinner and fruit chews after just because it earns the biggest smile and "Yay!" that I've seen all day. There are times when I'm tough, sad, tired, irritated, exasperated, and a slew of other negative emotions while being a parent. But that's not what I want to be remembered by, or what I want to remember when I look back at these times. Instead, we'll just blow bubbles, draw on rocks, collect eggs, and chase chickens....all the while making precious memories.
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| Bubbles never cease to be amazing to a 3 year old! |
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| Working hard at those pulmonary skills! |
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| Peggy says "is this kid ever gonna blow a bubble?" |
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| Love the look of joy on her face! |
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| How wonderful to see her be able to run without huffing & puffing! |
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| "Caulking the Rocks" as Addy says |
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Bound and determined to catch a chicken....they are just toying with her though, she doesn't stand a chance!
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| Our best girl, Cassie, loves her some attention- what a camera hog! |
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| I think they are sharing secrets! |
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| Addy loves her animals, nothing like a little love from Cassie! |
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| Last but not least, if you've never seen a bunch of chickens haulin' drumsticks to the sound of corn in a can....... |
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| ......It really is some funny Shit! The only thing more funny you'll see on our farm is the fainting goat hit the ground when you honk the car horn at him....I'll save that for next time! |
