Night before the Fontan

Today was a long day. We had pre-op appointments starting at 9 am that thankfully we were done with by 1:30. As far as pre-ops go, I don't think our timing was too bad. The only sour spot of the day was the crummy phlebotomist (who had previously been fired from ever taking her vital signs due to poor technique and attitude) that took 3 sticks (and a piss poor attitude) to get her labs drawn. Otherwise, she laid still like a big girl for her echo for the first time since she was a baby! She only got a little freaked a few times but Toy Story was on so she was able to be quickly distracted. Our meetings with Dr. B (surgeon) and K (cardiology) went great and they are happy with the shape she is in prior to surgery. Dr B. says that hopefully he will be in and out and she will fly through it the same as the last 2. We are psyched that he is going to put a Broviac line in while in surgery at our request. Let me explain why this excites us. For her previous surgeries, Addy (and most pts) went to the floor with their RA (right atrium) central line. The protocol has now changed and now they pull this line and then put a whole new PICC line in these kids when it comes time to go to the floor. Well, with Addy's history of making it out of the ICU in record time, we weren't psyched about another invasive procedure and risk of infection so soon after surgery. This way, if he puts the Broviac in while in surgery, she can keep it for as long as she needs the IV diuretics and doesn't have to undergo another procedure that she'll have to be traumatized and sedated for. Hopefully if this goes well this could be a new thing that they do for more of the kids. Yay for less sedation and traumatizing procedures!

Grandma has been hard at work the last few days making Addy special hospital gowns and tele-pack pouches for her during her stay. We have our Dora goody bag of new toys to occupy her once she gets to feeling better, and plenty of snacks to keep us awake while we stand guard at her bedside. The kids are staying with my parents tonight, it was pretty tough not to lose it as Hunter (big brother) broke down crying before he left because is worried about her. Maci understands Addy is going to the hospital to get her heart fixed, but not quite the intensity of it. We plan to let them visit after she is extubated, but just don't think that sitting in a hospital for 12 hours and waiting is fair to them. 
 
Addy had her chlorahexadine scrub bath tonight and is all clean and ready for surgery. Tonight I laid my baby girl down in her bed and kissed her for about the thousandth time today. The tears in my eyes and heart threatened to overflow as I wonder if it will be the last time I put her to bed. She smiled at me that gorgeous smile and said "night night Mama" as I closed the door to her room. Two years ago, we didn't know if we would bring our new baby home- and we thought that was hard. Now she is no longer a baby but she walks, talks, blows kisses, gives high fives and knuckles, asks for Dora, sings ABCs, listens to her heart, and about a million other things.....and I'm scared to death that her heart won't restart on that table tomorrow. You know, I think that any other kind of surgery would be easier to take than knowing that a surgeon is going to have to cut open your child's chest and stop their heart....and know that only his skill and Gods hands are what will restart it again and bring our child back to us just as she is. I know all of the heart parents out there would agree that as they grow and develop their personality it becomes oh so much even harder to hand them over. I'm afraid that this may be the first time that she will cry as they take her away from us. I'm not sure yet if she will need happy medicine yet, but I'm not opposed to it if her mood appears to be clingy in the morning. Since I know that at her age she eventually won't remember going to surgery, I think the happy medicine is really more to prevent the trauma of having to watch your child cry and be taken from your arms. After 2 years, I always think I'm so used to this that it doesn't even phase me anymore. But really, every single day it scares me to death. Please pray for our family tonight as we prepare our warrior for her last big battle.